Friday, April 27, 2012

Karma is a Beyotch?

Someone got the memo. The problem is HE didn’t understand it.

Ugh! It’s not bad enough I must deal with high school bullies? Do I really also have to deal with a 40-something year-old who hasn’t progressed beyond a Sabino High School mentality?

When I received a message regarding a Facebook post reaction to my blog about bullying, at first I scratched my head and felt my heartbeat race a little.  But that reaction was short-lived once I read his words because it was quite obvious that he had the intention of defending his own children. No one can fault a father for that. But  . . .

The following would have been a poignant, sympathetic story if it had been a true account of what happened some 16 months ago. Instead, it was just a sad and false recollection of what others involved know to be the truth.

Here’s what the misguided father wrote, verbatim, no editing:

I was reading a blog about a girl that was bullied and it made me sad, That should never happen, last year our daughter was bullied by 3 people at school. It was all over a sport, one she now does not want to play partly because of this abuse. She decided not to talk in classes she had with these kids, she changed her whole demeanor because of it, it almost cost her the 4.0+ GPA she had. We actually looked at different schools after she kept coming home in tears. I understand how hard it is for kids being bullied. Her brother tried to help and the parents of the abusers got mad that he stepped in to protect his little sister, I hear this persons older sibling tried to help, just what a sibling will do. It got so bad, I had to convince my daughter to continue on a team she hated, I even spoke to the dads of the bullies and begged for them to not speak to my daughter, though I am positive they tried it did not stop the abuse. I never would want this to occurr to anyone, NEVER, I see the damage it can do, and sometimes when it occurrs to your kids, hopefully you step back and look at your actions to see if you ever perpetuated anything like it. I hope it ends soon for her and I really wish it never had to happen and never has to happen to any person again, but I will close with one thing, Karma is a Beyoch! 

Within seconds of reading this passive aggressive bullshit, I felt like the only thing missing was a hashtag with my name attached. Then I laughed and mused aloud:  was one of 100s of readers of my blog “Bullies BEWARE,” actually motivated to cyber-bully me in return?

Sadly, yes. And I’m certain the irony of this post is a foreign concept to him. I mean really . . . His bottom line after this fake empathy is “Karma is a Beyoch?”

As I type I’m at a loss. How do I respond to this guy’s thinly veiled personal attack and publicly related distortion of history? Is it worth my time? All instincts urge me to ignore him; however, from what I’ve learned from my true friends and intelligent supporters over the past few days, I cannot let bullies get away with their antics.

I decided long ago that this particular person qualified not only as a bully, but also as someone who demonstrated inappropriate behavior toward my daughter and my family. It’s one reason why I deleted him from Facebook. But apparently, it hasn’t stopped him from stalking my blog.

So, just as I called attention to the high school boy who targeted my daughter on Twitter, I reluctantly post this blog with this message:

Listen up: Your Facebook post accuses my daughter (and others) of things they didn’t do. Your daughter clearly had a difficult time dealing with a sport and a coach last year. We were sympathetic and you know it. How dare you insinuate that it was our daughter’s fault?  Nor was it the doing of three people you reference as being bullies and abusers. What really happened is that your daughter, in the midst of her depression and self-imposed alienation, reported to you that three people “publicly humiliated” her one day in a classroom because she asked a question during a study session that had already been asked twice. Nearly EVERY student in the classroom sighed, wanting to move on rather than go over the same material. I verified it with the accused parties, and the teacher, who said there was NO public humiliation in his classroom. She may have felt humiliated for asking this question but no one put those feelings into her head. In spite of this, I was personally attacked while my daughter was accused of being responsible for your daughter’s fragile state-of-mind. It was very clear to us that you were all hurting and we were as supportive as we could possibly be. At your request our daughter left your daughter alone, and when they did have encounters, they were cordial and respectful to one another. Ultimately, later in the school year my daughter offered support and friendship to your daughter when she needed it—for which your daughter AND you were thankful.

Then you have the GALL to further cite an older sibling’s actions in defense of his sister as being admirable, and have the audacity to compare it to what happened with my children? Damn, is that ever skewed.

The truth is, this man’s son actually called my daughter (the so-called abuser) and viciously accused her of making prank phone calls to his sister. He shot first and asked questions later. My daughter did NOT make these calls and ALL parties involved acknowledged this.

I’m fairly certain the kids worked out their differences long ago; however, clearly the father holds onto a different version of the story. That he further chose to publicly mock my children and me by posting his reaction to my blog on Facebook and suggest we “step back and look at your actions to see if you ever perpetuated anything like it,” reeks of hypocrisy and perversion.

End note: I have obviously touched on a subject—bullying—that gets a lot of attention. In the seven years since my first blog post, the post entitled “Bullies BEWARE” has so-far recorded a record number of hits. This is an important issue for parents, kids and school administrators to address. My child continues to be terribly upset and is not happy at all about my involvement. She is a classic victim, who has been further singled out by several kids at school as being “over dramatic” and “making too much of this.” She just wishes it would all go away. We are trying to make that happen—and as the kids continue to suggest we’re making it worse by dealing with it—we can’t make it truly go away until we expose it and make the bullies see that THEY are the ones in the wrong. Not us.

Meanwhile one hundred percent of the comments and calls I’ve personally received have been genuinely supportive, sympathetic, loving and educational. I am especially grateful to the parents who have offered very useful advice and who know that my child’s situation at school has absolutely nothing to do with Karma.

It is my goal in return to be helpful to others who may be experiencing this sad and troubling situation as well. As unpleasant as it is, we have to expose the bullies and see to it that they don’t get away with their actions.


Anonymous said...


I'm proud of you and Mike for following through with resolving this situation. It's uncomfortable for young children that are enduring bullying who only want it to go away. Someday, they may find themselves in a situation where they can step up and stop an act of bullying themselves. Right action is not 'optional'. I hope that this situation ends well. As for the passive aggressive smarmy individual that hides beyond the phrase karma is a beyotch - Yes, it is difficult to 'enjoy' the consequences of ones actions and words so you might want to be more careful with how you transgress. Idiot!

Bye - Sue

Anonymous said...
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