In Our Mothers’ Names

Each year as part of our Mother’s Day celebration, St. Alban’s parishioners donate bags of food in our mothers’ names. The Monday following Mother’s Day, we deliver these bags to our Tucson neighbors.

Today was the first time I participated in the delivery.

Willow's truck: Part of the 277-bag load

Willow was not available to make the trip, as she’s finishing up her last few hours of high school classes; but she loaned us her big, green truck. She told me there was “plenty of gas” to get from home to the church and then to South Tucson, however, the minute I got behind the wheel and turned down the country music, I noticed the gas needle in the red. 

It was the perfect illustration of the difference between a teenager’s interpretation of “plenty of gas” vs. a mother’s.  So, her truck donation proved to be a perk since I stopped and filled up the tank. (It should get her through the rest of her high school career).

We had a small army of volunteers at the church loading trucks and cars with canned and dry goods. In total we counted 277 bags. Then we paraded from our serene Foothills location, southwest to the Casa Maria Soup Kitchen at 352 E. 25^th Street.

Once we arrived, it took less than half the time to unload the bags as it did to load them. We had a lot of help.

Brian Flagg runs the Casa Maria operation, which consists of several small buildings each serving a purpose to help those in need. We literally filled one of the houses with our bags, and this house was across the street from the Señora de Guadalupe y Cocina Gratis. Other members of the Casa Maria staff live nearby, including Flagg, who opens his home to provide showers.

Flagg has a long history of social and community activism. When I shook his hand and looked into his eyes, I was bathed in his kindness and warmth. This is a man who clearly walks-the-walk.

St. Alban's Fr. Bruce with Brian Flagg of Casa Maria

Casa Maria serves 500-650 bag lunches plus soup, and also distributes 250 family bags per day. Flagg says they help to feed at least 1,000 per day. And by the way, he’s been at this for 30 years and pays himself $10/week.

According to the U.S. Border Beat newsletter, Casa Maria Catholic Worker House also provides medical aid and legal services, and offers United States citizenship classes in Spanish.

Willow only has a couple weeks left in Tucson before heading to her future in Wisconsin. She’s got a calendar full of activities leading up to graduation and more party and event invitations than we can count. But now that she’s got a truck full of gas, I hope we can find a few hours one morning to make it back to South Tucson to volunteer our time by the side of Brian Flagg. He said they need volunteers every morning between 8:30-10:00 a.m.

I believe exposing her to this operation would be the most valuable graduation gift I could give her.

ACL Diary: The Sequel

This morning, as I do every morning, I stepped outside barefooted to collect the newspaper. I read the front page headlines and then opened the Sports section—again, something I do every morning—to check the high school soccer scores and stats. The only game in which I was truly interested was the one I had already witnessed and knew the outcome.

January 25, 2013 AZ Daily Star 

I read the cold, hard stats without emotion:
CATALINA FOOTHILLS  1 – SABINO  0

The brief statistics didn’t come close to relaying the true story of that game. There was no accompanying article, and even if there were, no reporter but I could tell it in a way that might capture the essence of what happened from our perspective.

It was a big game—Senior Night for Sabino’s five seniors with lots of balloons and flowers and posters and smiles for the camera. And it was the last game of the regular season, a rematch with a rival played two weeks ago that ended in a 1-1 tie before overtime saw yet another victory for the state champions three-years running, the Cat Foothills Falcons.

Senior Night Swag

Sabino went into last night’s game missing three key players, one with a head-injury, one with a broken back, and one with a cold. Nevertheless, Coach Lowry switched around a few positions, and the girls played strong in the first half with both respectable shots-on-goal and spectacular saves by junior goalkeeper, Sylvanna Islas. It was 0-0 at the half.

And then late in the second half, senior Willow Cozzens, my darling daughter, twisted her knee and went down in a heap. There was a slight gasp from the stands and I couldn’t help but call out, “No! No! No!” I momentarily tried to shield my eyes from watching her once again reel in pain; however, her coach called my name and waved me to the field. I ran to them at once, knowing in my heart that I was about to face another ACL injury.

I had seen it before. And it was the same.

Her trainer and I helped Willow off the field and as we approached her teammates, their big-eyed expressions and looks of sorrow and concern broke my heart. “No, no, no,” I said again, “Keep going! Be strong and keep playing strong!”

I didn’t pay attention to the rest of the game; however, I did hear and understand that Cat Foothills scored (in the 74^th minute according to the paper). Willow’s dad and I made our way around the track but we couldn’t return to the stands. We tried to stay calm and wrap our minds around what had just happened, and it was like wading through a massive haze. Everything in what had been a noisy stadium seemed really quiet.

One-by-one parents approached us and one-by-one we relayed the bad news. Her club coach, her friends, her fans, other parents that love her like a daughter the same way I love their girls, shared our disappointment.

This morning we wonder, was it a stunned and quieted crowd or was it just that haze that shielded us from reality? Did Willow’s injury take the heart out of our team or was it just another Catalina Foothills victory?

Who can say? The loss most likely won’t keep us out of the state tournament; however, it will certainly affect our seeding and we await that posting.

Willow in action prior to injury

We have an appointment with her surgeon on Monday and I’m dreading it.  Willow heard/felt the telltale “pop,” which pretty much guarantees the road ahead to replacement surgery and physical therapy. But this time we know her soccer career is over.

It’s okay. Of course she’s disappointed to miss the state tournament and finish out her final year in club, but she didn’t plan to play soccer at the University of Wisconsin. It will have to be enough that she fought her way back after surgery on the right knee, and that the whole experience helped to build a solid character and both a sense of achievement and humility. We are as proud of her as we can be.

Meanwhile, I can’t help but think about two things her surgeon said to us during the course of her last procedure and recovery. One was regarding his work on her right knee using the hamstring replacement method, “She’ll have a far better chance of tearing her left ACL than she will re-tearing her right with this replacement.” (I wanted to tell him to “shut up!” at the time, and now I could just punch him for being so prophetic!). Secondly, when he ultimately cleared her to play soccer again after five months of intensive physical therapy he said, “Willow, I never want to see you again.”

Well, sorry to disobey doctor’s orders, but Dr. Tucker, we’ll see you on Monday.

ACL Diary: Scars Can Be Beautiful

Willow sat for senior portraits a couple weeks ago. Since she was born in Wisconsin, spends summers in the woods, and has every intention of going to school in this state after she graduates, the property surrounding our Northwoods home was the ideal setting for her session.

Kudos to Lauren Kerwin of Rose:Life Photography for capturing all the beauty (of both Willow and the woods) with her camera.

Lauren shot hundreds of photos with multiple outfit changes, and provided a USB drive with our choices. Frankly, there are far too many from which to choose. She narrowed it down to her top 25, most of which were on our list too.

Finally, I believe I've found my favorite. Aside from Willow's cute smile, twinkling blue eyes and the wind gently blowing her beautiful blonde tresses, I like that it shows her ACL surgical scar(s) on her right knee.

Willow Gayle Cozzens at Sandy Point

Without question, Willow's ACL injury, surgery and recovery played a huge role in her life thus far. I think it's fair to say she has made a complete recovery; however, the experience definitely changed her. For example, I don't think she defines herself first and foremost as a soccer player any longer.

She still plays, still loves the game, still plans to attend camp at UW Madison next month. Yet when it comes to her future, her main focus is now on academics. And the results of this focus should, God willing, enable her to get into most any school she chooses to attend.

Willow has not let her injury or her scars define her. She has risen above this brief setback and used this episode in her life as a learning experience. I believe it has made her an even stronger and more formidable young woman. She's shown us that not much is going to get in her way.

So, for those of you who are worried or concerned about the scars after ACL replacement surgery, understand that wounds do heal. And I think it's a fair assumption to say that Willow's scars are NOT the first thing anyone notices when looking at her.

Barbed Garbage

We spend a lot of time walking, running and biking around our desert neighborhood. Our adventures are often rewarded with wildlife sightings including coyotes, javelinas, roadrunners, deer, prairie dogs, voles, hawks, bunnies, and lots of lots of quail.

The other day we were delighted by a very rare sighting of a covey of tiny baby quails pecking at what was a loaf of bread tossed on the road the day before. Willow snapped this photo with her phone just before they scurried away and hid behind the creosote bushes.

In addition to the fauna is the beautiful cactus flora, including an endless variety of cactus. And right now, the desert is abloom. The colors are so vivid they will stop you in your tracks—even if you’re running.

Unfortunately, we also spot a lot of trash. In spite of a lifetime of earth days, “don’t be a litterbug” slogans and recycling education efforts, it astounds me that there are still people who feel they have the right to throw their crap out of their car windows instead of saving it for a trash receptacle.

We therefore instigated a family community service project and became regular trash collectors for the neighborhood. And last evening, my girls and I went for our last sunset walk of the season. Community Service hours are due for Student Council, so we figured we’d wrap up the project for the school year.

It’s been a fun way to spend time with the girls—especially because they’re so funny. Camille, for example, loves walking in the middle of the busy street when no cars are present, because I think it gives her a sense of power. And both girls make up stories about some of the items they find: study notes, grocery lists, Slurpy cups, Rock Star cans and the like. “Drinking ‘n driving,” Willow says with a disapproving scoff each time she finds a discarded beer can.

Over the course of our neighborhood scavenger hunts, I’d say the items found most often are plastic grocery bags. They’re EVERYWHERE. And they are particularly treacherous to collect because more often than not they’re stuck to cactus and filled with needles. Straws may run a close second, but aluminum cans and plastic bottles are also shamefully prominent.

The most unusual find of all time has to be the discarded paper containing an acceptance speech for the Mrs. Arizona contest. We kept checking local media to see if one of our neighbors had won the event; however, ultimately made no discovery of crowned royalty in the hood.

Wrapping up the project for the year, we feel our social status may be that of mere trash collectors, but it helped us believe we were doing our part to keep our desert kingdom beautiful.

Prom Production Numbers

Yesterday I watched my child race into a massive headwind at the tail end of a 300 Hurdle race. She and the other racers appeared momentarily frozen in mid-air as they battled over the last three hurdles to the finish. After cheering her to a second place finish, a friend tapped me on the shoulder.

“I really enjoy how much you revel in your children,” she said.

Because of the wind I didn’t hear her properly. I heard the word “children,” and I thought I heard “rebel.”  I braced myself to learn what sort rebellious thing they had done.

She quickly repeated her statement and explained that her comment reflected not only my attendance at sporting events, but also the many Facebook posts and blogs about the girls.

Well, Linda, here’s another one.

Willow was late coming home from soccer practice last night. We expected her for dinner, however, she walked in the door with a big box from Pizza Hut in her hand. I wondered, was that the day’s rebellious act?

In her other hand she held a dozen roses. “Guess who has a prom date? she uttered with a bright smile.

Prom is ten days away. She’s been speaking of it for weeks and helping to plan it in Student Council for months. Two days ago she brought home a pair of teal stilts, er I mean pumps with six-inch heels, and she borrowed a slip of a dress from one of her teammates. Apparently she had everything in order except for her date. That was FAR more complicated.

Well, obviously the “right” guy finally asked her last night. And what I want to know is exactly when did prom invitations become such production numbers? I’ve seen cars decorated, cakes baked and elaborate ransom notes delivered.

Willow’s invitation was not without fanfare, and I’ve gotta hand it to the guy, he clearly tailored it to fit the girl he asked. From what I was told, he showed up at the end of soccer practice with the pizza and the roses. And he also decorated a soccer ball, using colored markers in all the white spaces. Prom? Prom? Prom? Prom?

The ball is really cute, and it will certainly keep a bit longer than a cake.

End note: This morning the icing on the prom cake is that the AYSA posted the State Cup Tournament schedule. We knew the girls had games on both the day of prom and the day after. We, of course, were hoping for an early game on Saturday and a late game on Sunday.

As team manager, I requested prom consideration a few times and I thought the AYSA didn’t listen. “We get this issue every year and we can’t make any guarantees,” said the bored and irreverent administrators each time I phoned.

Like a decent boyfriend, however, the AYSA came through for us. 10:00 a.m. Saturday—plenty of time to get ready, ladies. And 1:45 p.m. on Sunday—plenty of time to recover. Both games are in Tucson (as opposed to Phoenix or Casa Grande). 

We had no choice but to say “yes.”

ACL Diary: It Takes a Year

April 2, 2011 was the day it happened. It was the day our daughter’s life changed.

We were told it would be about a year before she would truly “be back” as a soccer player with a torn and replaced ACL. Her surgeon and therapist cleared her to play six months ago and that’s because she was physically strong. But getting back her confidence—not to mention the kind of playing time a top-level player needs—was slower in coming.

Less than a month after her first games back on the field with her club team (Samba), they broke for the high school season. Unfortunately, her high school coach/teammates appeared to treat her more as the injured player she had become rather than the talented player she was. She trained daily with the team and grew stronger and more agile, yet she spent most of the season on the bench. Trust, it didn’t do a thing to redevelop her confidence, and it even threatened to take away her passion for the game.

Willow the "Bruiser"

What we learned during this three-month period is that you can’t always depend on a coach to take a special interest in your kid, nor can you get him or her to believe any other method, style or strategy may be more effective or successful than the one in which he/she believes. So, we just encouraged our child to hang-in there, keep working, and if she wanted to continue playing, her time would come.

I suppose it’s fair to say that as we kicked our way through the grief stages of our daughter’s injury and the near-fatal rip it gave to her soccer career, that this was the acceptance phase. She had a major injury. She needed time to fully recover.

Willow Cozzens, #24, in the air

Thankfully, the school season came to an end, the club season resumed, and Willow took her place back on the field. She was still not in a starting position—but she was given a respectable amount of playing time. And it wasn’t long before we were regularly seeing shades of the old Willow—or “Bruiser”—the nickname she earned last year.

“Did you see that slide, Mom?” she called to me between halves at a recent a game. I assured her that I did indeed see it, (and it didn’t even make me nervous). “That was for you!” she said with a wink.

Her team went undefeated in the AZ Division I State League season, clinching the championship and earning the first place seed for the upcoming State Cup tournament, which begins later this month.

After one full year and a lot of medical and therapy bills paid in full, all we can say now is: Go Samba! Go Willow! We love you; we believe in you. And it’s very rewarding to see how much you believe in yourself.

NOTE: We isolated this very short clip to show her tenacity on the field last weekend against the current state champions, a national team. She's the tall player in red on the left, who makes a tackle, gets tripped, recovers, and then fields the ball to her outside defender. Atta girl.

My Week With Willow

We had the house to ourselves for a spell last evening. It was after track practice. The homework was complete and it was one of the two weeknights per week that didn’t involve soccer. We had an unusually early dinner because Camille had volleyball practice. Dad was, of course, in his man cave working his 24-7 Internet business. So, it was just Willow and me.

“Want to watch the Marilyn Monroe movie with me?” I asked.

To my delight, she agreed. I admit I was a little surprised. Throughout the week it was apparent that I wasn’t my daughter’s favorite person with whom to spend time. Nearly everything out of my mouth—be it compliment, directive, warning, comment or opinion—had been met with either a sigh, an eye-roll, a barbed comeback or all three.

Have I mentioned before how much I detest this teenage stage of motherhood?

From the film My Week With Marilyn

Anyway, there are lovely moments as well. And watching the film, My Week With Marilyn (starring Michelle Williams, Kenneth Branagh and Eddie Redmayne), was a nice 90 minutes. Earlier in the week she had asked me why the world continues to be fascinated by Marilyn Monroe. I explained how she was once the world’s biggest star and how she’s an icon for a glamorous Hollywood era—a day gone by. And she, like other American icons who died before the world was finished with them, remains a fascination or a mystery of what could have been.

I also told her that Marilyn Monroe inspired me to become a writer. Yes, it’s true.

Marilyn Monroe

It happened when I was in third grade. It was a night not unlike the one Willow and I had last night, when my mother invited me to watch the Marilyn Monroe classic, Some Like it Hot.  It was 1968, some six years after her death. Young as I was, I knew Marilyn was a huge star, but her ‘American idol’ status was in its earliest phase. Anyway, I so loved the movie (and the very fact that my mother allowed me to stay up and watch it with her) that it prompted me to write a ten-page synopsis of the story. I have no idea how many words that was—as evidenced by the five-year diary I began shortly thereafter and recently dug out of my archives—my handwriting was quite fat at the time. And I can’t imagine the spelling and grammar were all that great. How I wish I’d saved that little piece of my writing history.

Willow Cozzens

My mother was impressed by the content and storytelling, however, and suggested I give it to my teacher. Her name was Mrs. Meyers and she was the first lay teacher (non-nun) I’d had at my Catholic elementary school. Apparently Mrs. Meyers was impressed too. She asked me to read the paper in front of the classroom. I did. And when I finished reading, my classmates burst into applause.

I knew from that point forward what I was going to be when I grew up. No, not an actress like Marilyn Monroe.  But, of course, I was going to be a writer.

Willow liked that story. And she liked the movie, My Week With Marilyn. I recall that a line uttered by Michelle Williams/Marilyn in one scene when she was looking at a family of dolls in an exquisite dollhouse in Windsor Castle particularly struck my daughter.

“All little girls should be told how pretty they are,” says Marilyn. “They should grow up knowing how much their mother loves them.”

“Awwwww,” she cooed. And then Willow reached over and touched my arm, and kept it there for the remainder of the film.

What a nice way to end the week.

ACL Diary: The Long and Short of It

Six months. It’s a time period that normally flies by. And the six months that have elapsed since Willow’s ACL injury have, indeed, roared by with all the speed, sound and intensity of an F-16.

In retrospect, however, it feels as though it’s been the longest six months of my life as I’ve lived vicariously through—and paid for—the medical bills of my first-born, 16 year-old child.  The last three weeks, in particular, have been especially challenging.

Dr. Tucker's thumbs up

Willow’s surgeon and physical therapist officially cleared her to play soccer three weeks ago. Those were happy appointments, and as a result, she showed up on the soccer field ready to go. She, however, was met with equal doses of congratulations and welcome back, side-by-side with skepticism and apprehension.  Her club team, which picked up several talented players over the summer, had been doing just fine—excellent, in fact, in her absence.

Some apprehension may have come from her teammates, but it was also palpable from the one person for whom it counted: Willow.

And who could blame her? Anyone who has suffered this injury will tell you that after the successful surgery and rehab, it is—more than anything—an emotional experience.

Players/patients ask themselves: Will I be good enough? Will I be fast enough? Will I be strong enough? WILL I BE THE PLAYER I WAS???

On September 21, 2011, Willow was cleared to play, but only in practice. Competitive play in a game situation would be limited for “two-to-three weeks.” Then they wanted her back “full-on.” Take a few baby steps, they said, and then jump into the deep end of the pool. They assured us her knee was strong and it was all about her commitment to return. From the beginning, they treated her as a Level 1 athlete and all decisions—from her type of surgery to her rehab protocol—were based on getting her back on the field as soon as possible.

Given that Willow has been a textbook kid since the day she was born (on her due date with high APGAR and not a spot or stork bite to be found), she had the track record on which to base her good health. She proved it, once again, by working very hard at recovery and physical therapy, and even impressively restrained herself at various activities when she wanted desperately to forge ahead.

Coach Walter

Willow has been very lucky to have understanding and supportive trainers and coaches. Walter, her head coach, for example, is a man who loves and treats each girl on his team as though she is his daughter. For example, last spring on the day Willow was injured, I witnessed his immediate reaction. Coach first, he stood up and THREW his hat to the ground. Parent second, he could hardly watch as a team dad and an assistant coach carried her from the field. Walter knew, in the midst of his State Cup challenge that he was losing one of his key defenders, and displayed on his face during those minutes was the special language of love, fear, disappointment, and COACHING, that few possess and/or comprehend.

Coach Kate

God bless Walter, he saved a roster spot for Willow, and consistently checked in with us over the past six months to monitor her progress.  This is what a good coach does. And when you have a coach who believes in your kid, even an injury as serious as ACL is bearable.

In addition, this season’s new assistant coach, Kate, is a young woman who has also undergone knee surgery, and she knows as well as anyone what it takes to get back on the field after this experience. From day one of Willow’s clearance, she’s been an empathetic ally, and has monitored Willow’s progress/return.

Willow last weekend

Empathy is important; however, it’s only one aspect of assisting your child with full-on recovery. And trust me, hard as it was for Willow to sit on the bench watching her teammates play over the past three weeks, it wasn’t easy for us either.

This past weekend at a soccer tournament in Scottsdale, however, Walter threw Willow, #24, into the deep end of the pool and kept her in that first game for sixty minutes.

They were, without a doubt, the longest sixty minutes of soccer I’ve ever watched.

ACL Diary: From The Sidelines

Willow’s team is back in action and playing very well. Undefeated in their last six games, over Labor Day weekend in San Diego they earned a tournament championship and then won their first state league game of the season. Last night playing in the U-18 age group (a year up), they tied the current 1994 age group state champions in the TSA tournament.

Willow watched it from the sidelines.

Willow, in navy blue, watches with teammates

Our friend, Betsy Blackwood, who had her ACL reconstructed by the same surgeon as Willow, warned us that the hardest part about recovery is sitting on the bench while your teammates play—especially when they’re kicking butt without you. And that’s definitely true. But I gotta hand it to Willow, as she gets closer to the magical day on the calendar and her next appointment with Dr. Tucker, she handles it very well and truly supports her team.

Betsy Blackwood as an UALR Trojan

She’s been attending practices for several weeks; however, she can only warm-up with them. When they start drills, she puts on her running shoes and runs laps around the fields. Still in physical therapy twice a week, she continues to get stronger and stronger and has a goal to come back stronger than ever. We anticipate clearance for playing soccer to come very soon.

As for Betsy, she’s back on the soccer field with a scholarship at University of Arkansas, Little Rock. And from what I understand, she’s once again kicking butt!

Willow and Olivia show off their repairs

Willow’s other ACL buddy, Olivia Ortiz, a teammate for years, is also back in action after ACL reconstruction and she and her current teammates won their game in the TSA Tournament last night 2-1. 

(BTW: Livvy, we still have your ice machine and plan to return it; however, today I spoke with another former teammate of Willow’s who is undergoing ACL surgery in October, and I wonder if you’d allow us to loan it to her??)

Meanwhile, we are truly grateful for the support, empathy and inspiration Betsy and Olivia have given us throughout this process, and as we watch from the sidelines, it’s really good to know that there is indeed soccer after ACL surgery.

The Long Hot Summer Recovery Process

Bruce Valentine working with Willow in June

According to Tucson’s best and Willow’s favorite physical therapist, John Woolf, Willow is rockin’ it as she recovers from her ACL replacement surgery. Because of her hard work over the summer in Wisconsin with two different physical therapists, a certified trainer and a sports medicine physician, AND her good-girl behavior (staying off the waterski / wakeboard and not running), she’s right on schedule to get back to soccer.

Upon returning to Tucson in early August, she saw her surgeon, Dr. Tucker, and he cleared her to begin straight-line running. She had aspirations to return to the Sabino x-country team; however, that was a “no,” due to the uneven surfaces inherent to the sport. She has attended a few club soccer practices, but can’t yet do much with the team.

It was tough not being one of the girls at their level, but she was happy to see everyone and hopes to reestablish those tight bonds. This afternoon we’re looking forward to watching a scrimmage between her team and the UofA club team.

So now that the flex and extension are there, the weight and strength have returned, it’s time to focus on getting back in condition. That’s a little tough while Tucson is experiencing record high temperatures (we’re talking about 109°--and it’s muggy!). Willow works out with her therapist twice a week, however, she needs to get on the track and we’d like to have her up-to-speed by her next surgical appointment, which is exactly five months from the date of surgery: September 21. At this time Dr. Tucker expects to clear her for soccer.

“I won’t be able to play at the high-impact level I was at before,” said Willow. “Yet.”

But at least she’ll be out there. And with her sense of determination, soon the big blonde girl known as “The Bruiser” will be back. 

Please keep all your fingers, toes and knee ligaments crossed.

ACL Diary: The Art of Scar

April 23, 2011: In stitches

Using the bandage collection

June 1, 2011

June 26, 2011

ACL Diary: Fishy Business

We’ve moved from the desert to the lake—something we do as a family each summer. What this means for Willow is that she had to take temporary leave from her trusted physical therapist, John Woolf, and set up a program here in Wisconsin’s Northwoods.

Willow in a younger day

Luckily, we had connections. In advance of her surgery, we contacted a sports medicine physician who owns/operates a wellness clinic located about a mile from where Willow was born, who she had trained with last summer. He gave us advice regarding the type of surgery she should have, and was the key to our choice of hamstring replacement. 

Dr. Mullen of Premier Physical Medicine and Wellness Clinic saw Willow within days of our return and assessed her situation. He spent a lot of time loosening her knee, assuring her recovery was forthcoming, but also stressing that there would be “no shortcuts.” He immediately scheduled a session with his head physical therapist and she’s been returning to the clinic twice per week through the month of June seeing another therapist on staff.

Willow drives herself into town—about a 16-mile drive—so I haven’t been witness to her therapy appointments. She’s had a mixed response. Some days she feels her therapist isn’t working her hard enough and other days, she claims to have had a good workout. It’s unfortunate that this is her P-T’s first ACL recovery patient and I have a feeling Willow is teaching her as much as she’s teaching Willow.

In addition to her daily exercises, Dr. Mullen suggested she take a daily dose of fish oil—which she HATES, and claims does nothing for her.  I understand why she thinks this because the oral medications she’s taken to date have been Advil for head and body aches and, of course, Percocet for the pain after surgery. Swallowing these pills gave her results she could wrap her brain around. Even the Flinstone’s chewable and Gummy Bear vitamins she took as a young child provided the sweet bonus of sugar.

These fish oil capsules, however, just piss her off.

Swallowing something the size of a pinky toe that smells like the newspaper-wrapped scrap coming out of our fish-cleaning hut each week is NOT something she’ll do without prompting. And who knows what they’re really doing for her? As a rule, I am skeptical and cautious of dietary supplements and anyone who knows about our educational campaign, HerBeware, knows why. So trust, I’ve done a bit of research.

Fish oil is a source of Omega-3 fatty acids. These fatty acids are considered essential for human health and play a role in brain function and normal growth and development. They are obtained through foods—more specifically through fish. The herb industry’s selling points for fish oil (and, of course, this hasn’t been evaluated by the FDA) is that Omega-3 fatty acids may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease and cancer. In addition, they are thought to help reduce the risk of arthritis, which is the key to Dr. Mullen’s recommendation. According to Dr. Scott Tashman of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, arthritis is a common long-term affliction for 60-80 percent of ACL patients.

Albeit reluctantly and only when I remember to serve it to her, Willow’s been taking fish oil tablets over the past four weeks. So far she’s shown no negative side effects of taking the supplement (difficulty breathing, hives, bruising, facial/facial area swelling). So my goal—as it’s been all along—is to get her to focus on the positive side effects of her recovery process.

She doesn’t appreciate it today; however, she may by the time she’s 30.

Meanwhile, it’s another beautiful day at the lake. I think I’ll go find Willow somewhere on the grounds, serve up a softgel, and then we’ll spend a little time fishing.

ACL Diary: Let’s Get Physical

When Willow started driving, no one was happier about it than I. Primarily it meant that after 11 years, I no longer had to drive a carpool filled with smelly shin guards and crusty socks to and from soccer practice.

A month later she tore her ACL, and after surgery, I was back to being her chauffeur. I wasn’t taking her to soccer practice twice a week, however. I was taking her to physical therapy.

We chose John Woolf of ProActive Physical Therapy, as he came highly recommended by our surgeon, Dr. Tucker, as well as by trusted and knowledgeable friends.

“Talk to my husband,” said my good pal and fellow soccer mom, Stephanie Hunley, when I asked her if she had a therapist to recommend. “He’s got people.”

LaMonte Hunley, one of the men who carried Willow off the field on that dreadful day, is a low-key, yet loyal soccer dad. A former NFL player with the Indianapolis Colts and a U of A Wildcat, he doesn’t say much to or about the girls and the game, but when he does make a comment, in my never-humble opinion, he’s always spot on with his observations.

 

LaMonte Hunley

In addition to LaMonte’s credentials as a professional athlete, he’s an active businessman in the Tucson community. As co-owner of Arizona Health, which specializes in residential and commercial exercise equipment, he definitely knows people. So, when it came time to pick a local physical therapist for Willow’s immediate needs, without hesitation, I went to LaMonte.

“Woolf,” he said, almost like a bark.

“Did you say wolf? Like the canis species? A howling, doglike wolf?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” said LaMonte. “He’s the one. Used to be the trainer at the U of A.”

I immediately looked up Mr. Woolf and discovered he’s the former Director of Sports Medicine for The University of Arizona where he coordinated rehabilitation and medical coverage for division I athletes. Today he is the owner of ProActive Physical Therapy, located about a half hour from our eastside home. And it turned out, he was available to see Willow twice a week for the remainder of her time in Tucson this Spring.

John Woolf

Prior to meeting him, Willow’s friend, Anna, a teammate who has been back on the soccer field for over a year after ACL reconstruction surgery, told her that John was her physical therapist, too. And she said in no uncertain terms that he was “the best.”

“He deals with what’s up here,” she said pointing to her temple,” As well as what’s down here.” And she pointed to her knee.

I didn’t fully grasp what Anna meant until I watched John in action. My view from a very different sideline made me believe from the first session that we had chosen the right physical therapist for Willow. He not only brings excellent credentials and experience to the rehab table, but he’s also the father of a teenage girl.

“What color is the pain?” he asked Willow. “And what shape does it have?” As he worked with her knee, he asked a series of questions like this that obviously had a positive affect on Willow. Nevertheless, I think he had her at hello.

And so, I adjusted my driving route and my routine, and found that being at physical therapy during those first few sessions wasn’t that much different than being at soccer practice. My daughter was involved in an activity while I engaged in conversation with one of my long-time friends and fellow soccer mom, whose daughter was also working out with her therapist after ACL reconstruction surgery. (In the circle in which we travel, ACL tears are a BIG injury in a SMALL town).

I had only just begun to grasp the depth of the emotional impact of this injury, and will write more about that soon. But after a little more than two weeks post-op, when Willow begged me to let her drive again, I was nervous about letting her and therefore, reluctant. 


Ultimately I hoped that in conjunction with the physical therapy, a little motor vehicle therapy might go a long way in healing her hurt that day. Therefore, I handed her the keys and watched as her face lit up with a smile I hadn’t seen in a very long time.

“Score!” she said and practically skipped out the door.

ACL Diary: Embrace the Brace

Warning: Contains foul language
At Willow’s pre-op appointment with Dr. Tucker, one of his assistants fitted her for the brace that would become a big part of her support system for the first stage of her post-op experience.

It’s an uncomplicated device made partly of Velcro and plastic, but primarily of black, foamy material, on a par with a 7mm wetsuit, yet not quite as dense. Fitting her took less than five minutes. “How tall are you?” they asked. From there it was as easy as one, two, three.

Two minutes later, a nurse came into the exam room and told us our insurance didn’t cover the cost of the brace—for some reason she may as well have stated in Mandarin for as much sense as it made to me. “It’s unfortunate,” she said, “because the price on this is $915.

NINE-HUNDRED and FIFTEEN flippin’ DOLLARS?

The DonJoy IROM brace may be the Cadillac of post-operative knee braces, but come on! Of course, I realized this was an exorbitant markup and later, I went online to do a little research about these braces. Not one came close to the nine-hundred dollar mark. WTF?

It only took one “you gotta be kidding me,” comment said loudly enough for everyone in the building to hear, when someone suggested we use the self-pay option instead of dealing with the insurance company. “If you self-pay, the price goes down to $150.” Again, WTF?

After I tried to swallow this unbelievable discrepancy in price, I hobbled out of the office along side my injured daughter and, for about thirty seconds, allowed myself (for the first time) to actually think about what this ordeal was going to cost our family.

Lest this become a rant about the cost of health care in this country OR the fucked up insurance industry all of us who (think we) can afford health insurance has to deal with, I’ll get back to my original theme and EMBRACE the experience for what it is.

ACL buddies: Willow, showing off her brace; 

Shelley, showing off her healing wounds

Our daughter was injured, and no matter what it takes, we’re going to do what we can to heal her. (I reserve the right to freak out a little when the bills start coming in). Meanwhile, I still haven’t received the bill for the brace and don’t know if I’ll be charged a hundred-something bucks or nine times that amount for a device that is now stashed in a storage closet, hopefully, never to be seen or heard from again.