Kankle Time

Last week a stepstool collapsed from underneath me as I reached for a sweater on a high shelf. Without warning or a chance to anything to break my fall, I was in a heap on my closet floor next to a pile of wood. That stool had been reliable for at least a dozen years. Now it’s useless. And so am I.

Unable to get up, my initial cries for help were met with no response. Not even from the man in the next room who was servicing our heater/air-conditioner compressors. I therefore scooted my way into the bedroom, continuing to call for my daughter in the next room. When she finally came into my aid, she thought I was sneezing.

After the accident it took about 20 minutes before I could put weight on my left foot. My ankle was swollen but not incredibly painful. More painful was a deep cut on the side of my foot just below the pinkie toe. Unfortunately, I had to be somewhere in 15 minutes and was unwilling to cancel. So I didn’t immediately ice the injury. Instead I hobbled my way around the task at hand and took care of the foot later.

With ankles the size of most people’s wrists, I’ve been no stranger to sprains. I know how to treat them and with a little ice and a little elevation, they go away. Unfortunately, however, the swelling isn’t going down and now there’s an ugly black-and-blue patch lining the base of my foot from heal to instep. I’m afraid I’m dealing with torn ligaments in addition to the sprain.

“Keep it elevated and iced, and take some Advil,” said my sister, who faced a very similar injury when she slipped down the stairs a while back. Offering an empathetic, “I feel your pain, sister,” she also admonished me for not staying off it.

So, yesterday I stayed off it and spent most of the day on the phone and on Facebook. And so far today, I’m catching up on all the shows recorded on our DVR. Man, there is some raunchy $hit on Showtime. I mean really! Have you seen “Shameless?”

Now I’m watching the movie “Too Big To Fail” and it’s just aggravating me. I wish someone would come and bail me out of this mess. I can’t manage a household and a business with my foot propped up.